They must also make sure that no bread crumbs exist in or around the house: the cupboards, the drawers, the kitchen, behind the bed, under the refrigerator and anywhere else where crumbs might have fallen through. To ensure that the house is clean of leavened food materials, the Jews have to clean the entire house from top to bottom as thoroughly as possible. And they do. During the week before Passover, house cleaning is what goes on in most Jewish houses. To answer this demand and to ease the tension, here is a joke on this subject called Impossible Timing, which highlights this cleaning tension.

Impossible Timing:

Samuel, an observant Jew, who was also a financial wizard, left Brooklyn to accept the position of Vice President in a famous broker firm in Utah, which is well known for being a Mormon state.

When they learned this, the company’s directorate applied tremendous pressure on the company’s president. “We are religious people here,” they said. “It can’t be that a Jew will handle all our money.”

The president tried to ward them off, but when he couldn’t manage it anymore, he called Samuel to his office and explained the situation to him. Samuel was offered the choice of either converting or leaving the attractive job which also had a six figure salary quote attached to it.

Samuel had no choice but to convert, and he went home and told his wife that from Sunday, they will start attending the Church services.

A few months went by and his wife kept troubling Samuel about the conversion. “This is too difficult for me. I miss the Sabbath: lighting candles and blessing the wine. I miss the holidays. Money is not everything, Samuel dear.”

And with each time that his wife complained, Samuel’s conscience increased until he could not take it anymore and he went to meet the company’s President.

“Look, I can’t go on like this,” Samuel said. “I am full of regret. Money is not everything. I can’t sleep and neither can my wife. This is too heavy a burden for me to carry. I was born a Jew and I want to die a Jew. And if you want me to quit, I will without making any trouble.”

The President looked at him in wonder, “Listen, Samuel, I had no idea that this was so difficult for you. I thought it was a trivial matter. But you don’t have to leave. Everything will be the same as before: you can stay here with us without converting.

Samuel returned home happy and grinning from ear to ear. He ran to his wife, who was watching Ricky Lake, “You won’t believe it! It’s a miracle. We are going back to being Jews, and I still retain my job.”

His wife looked at him with eyes that spat fire, and said,” Are you mad?”

Samuel was shocked. “But I thought that this is what you wanted!” He cut in. “All this while you have been crying and complaining. Don’t you wish to go back to becoming a Jew”"

His wife looked at him with ever more fury, “Of course I want to. Of course I want to,” she said. “But now? Only a week before Passover?”

They must also make sure that no bread crumbs exist in or around the house: the cupboards, the drawers, the kitchen, behind the bed, under the refrigerator and anywhere else where crumbs might have fallen through. To ensure that the house is clean of leavened food materials, the Jews have to clean the entire house from top to bottom as thoroughly as possible. And they do. During the week before Passover, house cleaning is what goes on in most Jewish houses. To answer this demand and to ease the tension, here is a joke on this subject called Impossible Timing, which highlights this cleaning tension.

Impossible Timing:

Samuel, an observant Jew, who was also a financial wizard, left Brooklyn to accept the position of Vice President in a famous broker firm in Utah, which is well known for being a Mormon state.

When they learned this, the company’s directorate applied tremendous pressure on the company’s president. “We are religious people here,” they said. “It can’t be that a Jew will handle all our money.”

The president tried to ward them off, but when he couldn’t manage it anymore, he called Samuel to his office and explained the situation to him. Samuel was offered the choice of either converting or leaving the attractive job which also had a six figure salary quote attached to it.

Samuel had no choice but to convert, and he went home and told his wife that from Sunday, they will start attending the Church services.

A few months went by and his wife kept troubling Samuel about the conversion. “This is too difficult for me. I miss the Sabbath: lighting candles and blessing the wine. I miss the holidays. Money is not everything, Samuel dear.”

And with each time that his wife complained, Samuel’s conscience increased until he could not take it anymore and he went to meet the company’s President.

“Look, I can’t go on like this,” Samuel said. “I am full of regret. Money is not everything. I can’t sleep and neither can my wife. This is too heavy a burden for me to carry. I was born a Jew and I want to die a Jew. And if you want me to quit, I will without making any trouble.”

The President looked at him in wonder, “Listen, Samuel, I had no idea that this was so difficult for you. I thought it was a trivial matter. But you don’t have to leave. Everything will be the same as before: you can stay here with us without converting.

Samuel returned home happy and grinning from ear to ear. He ran to his wife, who was watching Ricky Lake, “You won’t believe it! It’s a miracle. We are going back to being Jews, and I still retain my job.”

His wife looked at him with eyes that spat fire, and said,” Are you mad?”

Samuel was shocked. “But I thought that this is what you wanted!” He cut in. “All this while you have been crying and complaining. Don’t you wish to go back to becoming a Jew”"

His wife looked at him with ever more fury, “Of course I want to. Of course I want to,” she said. “But now? Only a week before Passover?”

The story goes that there was a couple married for quite some time and they had a boy of 5-6 years old. Their relationship was turning sour. So finally it reached such a stage that they thought it was better for them to be divorced than to carry on such a relationship.

So they consulted a lawyer. But the big question was who would have the kid. In the hearing in the court it was decided that this choice should be left to their son. So the judge asked “Son, would you like to stay with your mummy?”

The kid replied,” No, mummy beats me.”

So the judge asked “Then, would you like to stay with your papa?”

The kid replied, “No, papa beats me too.”

Now the judge was in a dilemma and was not able to decide what to do. After pondering for some time he smiled with the ideas he had in his mind about the child.

And he gave the judgment that the kid would stay with

Any guesses?

Come on I know you can guess this.

Ok here is the decision: The judge decided that the kid would stay with the Indian Cricket Team because they never beat anybody.

And here are some one liners to pipe up your day:

Why do Indian babies cry and complain all the time?

They are practicing how to become Indian cricketers when they grow up.

What is an handcuffed Indian Cricketer called?

A cricketer you can trust.

What are the four words that will destroy any Indian batsman?

Did you bat today?

Why doesnt the crowd blink when Tendulkar goes out to bat?

There just is no time until he gets out again.

What is the difference between an Indian batsman and an Australian one?

100 runs.

What is the difference between batteries and Indian cricketers?

Batteries have a positive side.

How do you force Indian cricketers to run between wickets?

You place food on either end.

Yes, I know that some of these jokes are really putting the Indian team down but considering their recent form (excluding the recent two victories against West Indies which I think is more of a fluke than anything else), I felt that I could say such things.

I cannot understand how such players such as Ganguly, Tendulkar, Dravid and the rest can let the fans down time and again. Sometimes it seems that they are not really interested in playing and that they gamble away their wicket easily. If that is the case then they should leave and let other more able and willing youngsters take a shot. They will not fare much worse in any case. What will they do? Lose. They lose anyway and to any cricket playing nation in the world!

The story goes that there was a couple married for quite some time and they had a boy of 5-6 years old. Their relationship was turning sour. So finally it reached such a stage that they thought it was better for them to be divorced than to carry on such a relationship.

So they consulted a lawyer. But the big question was who would have the kid. In the hearing in the court it was decided that this choice should be left to their son. So the judge asked “Son, would you like to stay with your mummy?”

The kid replied,” No, mummy beats me.”

So the judge asked “Then, would you like to stay with your papa?”

The kid replied, “No, papa beats me too.”

Now the judge was in a dilemma and was not able to decide what to do. After pondering for some time he smiled with the ideas he had in his mind about the child.

And he gave the judgment that the kid would stay with

Any guesses?

Come on I know you can guess this.

Ok here is the decision: The judge decided that the kid would stay with the Indian Cricket Team because they never beat anybody.

And here are some one liners to pipe up your day:

Why do Indian babies cry and complain all the time?

They are practicing how to become Indian cricketers when they grow up.

What is an handcuffed Indian Cricketer called?

A cricketer you can trust.

What are the four words that will destroy any Indian batsman?

Did you bat today?

Why doesnt the crowd blink when Tendulkar goes out to bat?

There just is no time until he gets out again.

What is the difference between an Indian batsman and an Australian one?

100 runs.

What is the difference between batteries and Indian cricketers?

Batteries have a positive side.

How do you force Indian cricketers to run between wickets?

You place food on either end.

Yes, I know that some of these jokes are really putting the Indian team down but considering their recent form (excluding the recent two victories against West Indies which I think is more of a fluke than anything else), I felt that I could say such things.

I cannot understand how such players such as Ganguly, Tendulkar, Dravid and the rest can let the fans down time and again. Sometimes it seems that they are not really interested in playing and that they gamble away their wicket easily. If that is the case then they should leave and let other more able and willing youngsters take a shot. They will not fare much worse in any case. What will they do? Lose. They lose anyway and to any cricket playing nation in the world!